“It was night and day, where I went from not being able to find any queer women, to suddenly being inundated with them. And third, while the event was open to all genders, plenty of women were there with each other, tying up their partners in artful rope displays, or spanking each other with impact toys. (Many sex parties that allow nudity and penetration happen in semiprivate clubs that require patrons to become members or bring their own alcohol restrictions and laws on what is and isn’t allowed vary from state to state.) Second, she felt embarrassed to be there with a man.
First, she had to leave her clothes on all night, because she wasn’t wearing underwear and nudity wasn’t allowed at New York clubs. Michelle remembers three things about it. (“Later I was like, This is the trashiest space I could have been in, but at the time it was really cool to me,” she said.) Surrounded by exposed brick wall and plush red couches, attendees wore lingerie, formal wear, fetish gear, or steampunk attire. Lovecraft–themed bar at the time, its main feature was a gap in the lounge wall that used to hold a fish tank and was now a suitable place to fool around in. The club was in a basement in the East Village that would later be converted to an H.P. Michelle had never heard of play parties before, but she knew she was kinky and was excited to attend. One of her early dates invited her to a BDSM play party in Manhattan.